Four Traits Of Resilient People
All of us have an edge we will meet at various points in our lives. These are crucial moments because the choices we make when at the edge help determine our capacity for resilience and subsequently, our likelihood of survival.
Resilience is the reason some people emerge from life’s bleakest moments still emotionally intact while others live the rest of their days in a shattered heap. So what traits do resilient people have to help them meet and survive life’s curve balls?
woman with drive has rounded up four of them.
Shift Your Focus
It can be difficult to look for silver linings when it feels like your world has been upended. But life is not an all-or-nothing game and one single event – no matter how big – does not have the power to wipe out the good that remains.
Russian tennis star, Maria Sharapova, believes that when cracks show up in one aspect of your life, there will always be another aspect that balances it off. The key is being able to step away from the emotional upheaval long enough to notice that.
“There is always a part of your life that you can always fall back into no matter how tough things are,” she told woman with drive in an exclusive interview. And that is what you have to look out for. Ultimately, things level out.”
Seek Out Purpose
In the aftermath of an unwanted life-changing event, our first instinct is to look for an explanation for why it happened and more importantly, why it happened to us. But an intellectual understanding does not always heal an emotional wound.
So instead, ask what you can learn from this event. A purpose that is bigger than your pain will help transform your struggle and empower you to spark a positive change.
Australian mining engineer, Turia Pitt, who suffered severe burns in a bushfire during an ultramarathon has since used her new circumstances to inspire others through speaking engagements and fundraising events.
“Only through experiencing change can we grow and learn and really live. It is about never giving up.”
Read: Everything To Live For by Turia Pitt
Each time reality falls outside the borders of expectations, you have three choices – fight, complain or accept. When you consider that only 10 percent of your life is determined by events beyond our control, and 90 percent is therefore determined by our reaction to those events, the third choice is the obvious one.
According to American Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, our problems never get fully resolved but instead go through a continuous cycle of coming together and falling apart.
“Misery is self-inflicted, when we are expecting the “ideal” to overcome the “actual”, or needing things to be different so we can then be happy. The experiences of your life are trying to tell you something about yourself. Lean into it.”
Read: When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
Curiosity is the cornerstone of lifelong growth. It helps retain a beginner’s mind even as our wisdom grows, and gives us the courage to choose the unfamiliar over comfort zones.
Bestselling American author and TED Talk sensation, Brene Brown, believes that we sometimes have to feel our way through tough situations and tough emotions. She urges us to pay attention to the point when we want to lash out because that is exactly when we need to get curious about what we are feeling, what is driving it and our response to it.
“Spot the places where you create your own suffering before you act out those same destructive or avoidant behaviors for the zillionth time. Resilience is more available to people who are curious about their own line of thinking and behaving.”
Read: Rising Strong by Brene Brown
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